God Laments Skipping Out On Birth Of His Son

THE HEAVENS — Upon somber reflection on Christmas Day, God, Our Heavenly Father reportedly laments skipping out on the birth of His Son, Jesus Harlequin Christ, over 2000 years ago to the day.  “I already had a full plate that day,” explained God. “I was busy being a Father elsewhere with all of My other Creations.”  The regretful Creator of All Things believes that the course of history could’ve had “a much sunnier” outcome had he been physically present at the birth of Christ. “My Son wouldn’t have been raised by a libtard like Joseph,” decried God, adding that the absence of a strong Father figure consequently lead to “all those atrocities later in His life.”  A sulking God admits that He only has Himself to blame for being completely nonexistent to His Son’s needs.

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