WINNIPEG — In a desperate attempt to fill the void in his love life on Valentine’s Day, local man Bradley Harmon clogged his heart eating an entire heart-shaped pizza. The 43-year-old bachelor made reservations “for two” at a nearby Boston Pizza to enjoy the annual promotion at his pathetic lonesome. “I wouldn’t be feeling this ache in my heart if I was to share this night with a special someone,” murmured Harmon while munching on a side order of three cheese toast, served extra gooey. Insiders are still unsure whether Harmon began experiencing chest pains when he was clumsily flirting with the waitress taking his order, or after he consumed the extra-large Chicago-style meat lovers pizza. “I thought he was ordering for two, that’s what it said on the reservation,” said the waitress. “Otherwise I would’ve recommended a smaller size, or perhaps one of our GlutenWise pizzas.”
